I'm not a home maker!

I'm not a home maker? Why does that seem to be the default for the parent who stays at home? Even stay at home parent, house keeper...none of this rings true for me.


I'm an artist. Shut up. I am.

I feel like I have better things to do with my time even if that better thing is creating a killer looking magazine box with Sharpies.

Now the reality is that somebody has to do the dishes and clean the clothing. These things are important.

But our house is maintained by everybody who lives here. We all pitch in and we are all equally uninterested in cleaning.  In other words, we're all lazy. So we don't take much pride in how the house looks. I'm okay with that. Things get done in their own time.

It's not that resolutions are bad. Not at all. However it seems the expectation of new year resolutions is to fail. Why in hell would you make a promise to yourself that you had no intention of keeping??? I mean talk about your depressing defeats of self esteem. Why not just eat a cheese cake and go to bed?

Last year, a resolution was exactly what I made.

My hair was less pink then and life was about everything and everybody else and why life wasn't working for me. Indeed, it had taken me that long to realize that with Amelia in pre-school twice a week, I had time to be myself. I had time to work on a ll the projects and sketches I've been putting off. I can finally get the house in an order I can live with. I can finally spend the time to write or sing or jump or whatever it is moms do when they finally have the little bundle of joy shipped off to school. All of which never happened before she was gone 4 hours a day twice a week. In fact, it still hasn't happened

My resolution last year was as vague as possible. I want to find myself.  I mean "find myself"  in the most selfish and self centered way. What did I want to look like? How did I want to spend my days? What kept me from being what I want to be? Why didn't it just happen as life went on?

I discovered over the past year that experimentation with meditation and hair dye really changed my perspective.

Hope for Las Vegas

The time that has passed since my last blog isn't much at all. It's funny. My goals have not changed. I am working toward ridding myself of Christmas wrapping paper. I am so close. There's only a roll left. Whew. I have even sent a few gifts to birthday parties in paper bags. Personally decorated by my brilliant and creative daughter Amelia. I'm proud to have done so.

However I must admit my journey into the greener aspects of life have not been all consistent. Composting has gone by the way side. Oh it irks me so much. Do you know how much wonderful waste I throw in the garbage where it will fester to no good use??? My next house will have a good compost bin.

But what could be going on now? What has happened since we last met minds? Really, not so much. We have moved to a more southern point of Oregon. It is so conservative, I have compared it to Texas and also the Bible belt. But the fact remains we're in OREGON. I have powered through the Christian right wing here to force my non-theist views upon the very small public who would appreciate the message. I feel good about it. I feel very hippie and very righteous about my decision to stand up to the main stream here. What a wonderful affirmation of my newer personality.

And now we are leaving. Leaving this little town for parts unknown as yet. Maybe Las Vegas, maybe Washington, maybe Brazil. I'm hoping for something easy. I'm hoping for something that is right for me and my husband but most importantly for my son. For my daughter. I hope it's good for them.